Enjoy the Moment

So my new mantra/goal is to enjoy the moment.  Okay – it’s really not at all new but I’m trying to be more mindful about it. 

The way I see it there are at least three aspects I should keep in mind. 

1.      Aspect  1 (Moments): Be present in the moment.  I need to keep my mind on where I am and what I’m doing at this moment, and not let my mind wander to other places.  When I’m with my son, my mind should be on him and not on what other things I need to be doing or accomplish.  When I’m nursing my daughter I should be enjoying that moment with her and not thinking about what mayhem my son is wreaking as part of his bedtime routine with my husband. 

2.       Aspect 2 (Moments):  Life is short, and kids grow up fast.  Two of my cousins lost their mom to cancer.  My heart aches for them, and for her.  A three year old girl in my son’s music class last year is fighting her own battle with cancer right now.  These are painful, wretched reminders to not take any life for granted.  But even without the tragedy, life goes by way too fast.  The cliché statement “the days are long but the years are short” is cliché because it is so very true.  These kids grow up F-A-S-T.  When I hold my baby daughter in my arms I realize that I no longer fully remember what it felt like to hold my son as a baby.  My head and heart remember, but there’s no way that I can ever fully remember that experience.   It’s clouded with the memory of how it feels to hold him now.   I’m glad that I know that I fully enjoyed that moment in time holding him as a baby and that it wasn’t wasted. 

3.      Aspect 3 (Enjoyment):  Life with kids is hard.  Really, really hard.  And so I want to always strive to enjoy it, even when I’m not really enjoying it.  It’s hard to enjoy my son’s nightly tantrums about going to sleep – the way he keeps popping up like a weeble doll and coming to the living room to sob “I don’t WANT to go to bed alone!”  It’s as heartbreaking as it is maddening.  But at least I can enjoy knowing that he’s at an age where he really, really just wants us to be with him – even if it’s every second of the day and it’s 2 hours past his bedtime.  And when he’s driving me bonkers because he just. needs. to. brush. his. teeth. And instead he is getting distracted by every. little. thing I just need to take a deep breath and admire how cute his little body is dancing around the bathroom while he admires the color of the tile.  And when he’s screaming about how he won’t eat his oatmeal because HE wanted to pour the oatmeal into the water – I need to just. …hmmm…I’m out of ideas.  Someone help me on that one because seriously I don’t know of any way to turn that one around.*

*I know, I know, all my examples about the times it is hard to enjoy parenting were about my son instead of my daughter.  I can’t help it.  Three is a tough age.  Why does no one warn you about age 3?? But that’s another post.  

Memory that made me smile

One of the things that I love about parenthood is the sheer number of happy, funny memories that pop into my head at random times.

Today I was remembering when my son went to his friend's birthday party this summer.

They saw each other from across the yard and my son yelled "NICK-YYYYY" and they ran toward each other as if they hadn't seen each other in years- instead of just a few days prior.

As he ran my son yelled "NICKY!  I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU!!!" and when he got close my son put down the gift bag, ripped out the tissue paper and pulled out the gift. 

Far from being upset, Nicky was thrilled to have the present and they both prepared to start playing with it.  Immediately.  Right there on the sidewalk. 

Since then I've stopped using gift bags and I wrap the presents instead.  It slows him down a little.

Making peace with the never-ending to do list

You know how no matter how hard you try, you never ever get your to-do list down to nothing?

Tasks just accumulate.

And wow.  It gets so much worse when you have kids.

Before kids, I'd at least know I could get something done.

But with kids.  There's no guarantee.  I could go days, or even weeks, and I won't get anything off the list.

Unless I put things on the list like "feed children" and "put children to sleep".

And my to-do list has taken on different forms.  It used to be one list.  Now there are several.  Much of it is on random pieces of paper because when I think of it I am no where near my main list and so I jot it down on  a scrap of paper and then it turns up later.  Like some kind of lost fortune cookie.  "Your world needs more light"  translate "buy light bulbs"

But I have to write it down because who knows when I'll remember to do it again.  Simple things.  Things that  there used to be no way I would worry about forgetting it.  Like responding to personal e-mails.

Or like sending a sympathy card.  How can I forget that?  But if I don't write down to do it, I will.

And I'm amazed at the things that will languish on the list.  Like start an "enjoy parenting blog".  That's been on the list for....hmmm....let's see.   Well over a year.

A year!  How can that be?

During pregnancy I would frequently start my to-do lists with "Grow Baby".  I would put it on because there were some days that I had such severe fatigue, I felt like that was all I could do.

I think now that I've got two kids, perhaps that's what I need to do again.  Just start the to-do list with "Care for Children", because seriously, sometimes nothing else seems to get done.

How is that possible?  I don't know.  Surely I should be able to get something done.

Usually I am at peace with my reduced productivity, and with the fact that the list will always be there, and it will always be much, much longer than it was pre-kids.

Because with kids, there's more that goes on it, and there's less time to do it.

But other days, like today, I feel like I am a hose that's been left unattended and I've got water shooting out  in all directions but it's not putting out any fires.

Okay.  Deep breath.  Time to look at that list and get something done!




And since never-ending got me thinking about this song - I'll leave you Modest Mouse's Never Ending Math Equation.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-EW-C31J2g

Starting the Blog!

One of the greatest gifts I think my mom gave to me is a sense that she truly enjoyed parenting my brother, sisters and me.  It wasn’t just that she loved us, but that she really enjoyed being a parent. I think her enjoyment contributed to my own desire to become a parent, and it’s what inspired me to start this blog.  While I have a blog devoted to my kids – the complete saccharine blog of photos of their every move, cute and funny things that they say or do, videos that only their grandma’s and their devoted aunt are willing to watch etc, this blog is going to be about my thoughts about parenting.  I’ve been wanting to start this blog for quite some time, and I keep procrastinating because I just have so many ideas of what I want it to cover – but I’ve decided – I just need to start it!

I am planning on having several different categories – including

·         book reviews

·         parenting thoughts

·         unsolicited advice

·         mommy notes

·         shopping notes

·         recipes

·         happy moments

So why now?  Well, I know some awesome women that are about to become moms, and I’m hoping that they’ll enjoy reading this blog.  And that perhaps it will give them ideas, or help make parenting easier – and more enjoyable – for them. 

So, I will end this blog post with a “happy moment”. Yesterday my 3 year old son held up one of his 6-month old sister’s toys and very earnestly began instructing her on her colors.